Is Life’s Busyness Keeping You DistanCed From God?
From The Series:
Why we feel distant from god
(and ways to reconnect)
Part One
Hey god, I want to be close to you, but…
Life keeps popping up.
And I'm distracted by my to-do list.
And I’m behind in my work.
And my chore pile is through the roof.
And I’m tired.
And for real…with my very little quiet time, I just wanna watch baking competitions on Netlfix, wear fluffy slippers, and be left alone.
Alright, now this is a dose of real life! Thank goodness! Someone said it! (oh that was me… I said it.)
Well, let's talk about it.
Everybody feels distant from god sometimes
I've got a questionnaire that I offer new subscribers. It's a short survey that helps me understand how I can best help you.
**Take it here if you missed it. It takes about 5 minutes.
One of the questions is “What makes you feel disconnected from God?”
The responses have been honest and insightful. And I’ve experienced nearly every one of these reasons God can feel far. In fact, there’s a whole bunch of answers that keep popping up over and over.
Lots of us deal with the same distractions that keep us disconnected from God.
So let's do a blog series on it and deal with them together! Weeeee!
The Most Common Reasons We Feel Distanced From God Are:
The Busyness of Life
Doubts and Unanswered Questions
Church Hurt and Christian Culture
Our Independence and Self-Reliance
Shame and Guilt
Struggles with Hearing God’s Voice and Direction
Challenges with Scripture
(Hot dang! A few of those are whoppers. Wish me luck!)
Here we go with number one…
the busyness of life
Oh, man, I hear ya.
Life is full!
What a joy!
But, when it's full, there's no room to add more.
If “more” is added to fullness, something gets pushed out.
**Science lesson alert
(It’ll be quick and artist-friendly)
This is “displacement.”
In fluid dynamics, this principle shows that a container can only hold a certain volume of liquid—any attempt to add more results in overflow.
Think of a bucket filled to the brim with water; if you toss in a tennis ball, it can’t fit without water spilling over.
When our lives are already full and busy, we experience displacement. Just as adding more water to a filled container causes it to overflow, our packed schedules leave no room for additional commitments… like spending time with God.
Why does god take a backseat to our busyness?
Here’s a guess at the framework for most of your days:
Wake up (earlier than you want to)
Stretch in bed for 30 seconds
Make your bed
Tee-tee
Make and eat breakfast
Put on your clothes and take a shower (usually in reverse order)
Brush your teeth while practicing balancing on one foot (points for multitasking)
Pack your bag for the day and gather your things (take three extra minutes to look for the keys you JUST had in your hands)
Work
Demands, responsibilities, and interruptions
Have lunch and refuel
Demands, responsibilities, interpretations, interactions, communications, explaining stuff, and re-explaining stuff
Head home and run an errand on the way
House chores and dad-gummit you’re outta milk!? Ugh.
Store run for milk
Supper
Decompress (Read, nap, watch a show(s), make phone calls you want or need to make, crochet, happy hour)
Wash your face (a moment of luxury with the fancy stuff…ahhh!)
Pajama time
Mental prep and write up a to-do list for tomorrow
Restless sleep
Day done!
This generic weekday is already pretty full— of big stuff that’s got to get done and the teeny little death by a thousand papercuts obligations and tasks that pop up throughout the day.
And this is minus any demands of children, parents, or bosses…
And minus doing any exercise, studying, weeding in the garden, planning an event, buying a card and b-day gift for your sister-in-law, laundry, cleaning, mopping, meal planning, or just friggin’ relaxing and doing nothing.
My gosh, I’m wiped out from writing about it.
For most of us, our days are full of business and getting things done.
Then there’s the noise. The endless noise around us is a huge distraction and attention-suck. Cars honking, construction, the TV on in the background, phone notifications, alarms, interruptions in conversations, unsolicited opinions…
There's a lot of stimuli!
Oh yeah… And then there are the feelings about it all! Stress, fatigue, worry, anxiety, guilt… Sheesh!
Our internal and external worlds are totally overloaded!
Puh-lease feel normal and find camaraderie with the millions of other people who feel overworked, overwhelmed, overscheduled, overstimulated, and overtired.
You’ve got a lot of company. No, it’s not just you.
This is very much how our world and culture are structured now.
Gone are the days when we could kick back with our fellow cavepersons, share a few meaningful grunts, and unhurriedly roast our wooly mammoth over the fire.
The rhythm of our lives is fast-paced and typically filled with stuff.
Yeah, you could still stumble into a sunset and have an impromptu moment with God and His gorgeous creation.
But…
It’s more likely you’ll spend most of your evenenings doing something else.
We miss a lot with our full lives.
Alrighty, so what to do about it?
How to find god when life is busy and distracted
Let’s keep it simple and look for an easy win.
Slowing down and living a more minimalistic lifestyle is food for thought…that we’ll save for another post. I like that idea very much, but that takes a good bit of effort or commitment.
Let’s take you and your life where you are.
Here's my suggestion:
Quality, not quantity.
You and God need meaningful, quality moments together.
How much, how often, how long… that’s not your focus.
Your focus is- “Is this time together building our relationship?”
This is a starting point. You can get fancier and more ambitious later.
The time you spend with God needs to be worthwhile.
Connect with God in a way that makes it worth the effort- for both of you
Toss out the version of you visiting with God feeling like a trip to the DMV.
My U.S. readers will know that a burdensome visit to the Department of Motor Vehicles to renew your driver’s license is a necessary chore we must all undergo to stay out of jail when we’re inevitably pulled over for doing a rolling stop at the stop sign.
It’s dreaded, frustrating, and boring. But you gotta do it to be a good citizen. There are so many other ways one prefers to spend one’s time.
But that’s not you and God!
The idea that you “have to spend time with God,” so you can be a “good Christian…”
My gosh, No!
Who wants a relationship like that?
That language and way of thinking is an intimacy-buster.
No.
You and God aren’t gonna drag your feet toward one another to fulfill some religious pressure or obligation.
You and God are always, always, always, looking to connect with each other. You’re always looking to nurture your relationship.
You and God are not the boring, obligatory DMV. You’re partners- interconnected, interested, engaged!
So tell those “shoulds,” “ought tos,” and checklists to move over for the
“Power Couple Quality Time Throwdown!!”
Tips to connect with God when life is busy
Put your attention on THE WAY you come to the Lord.
Let Go Of Time
This is not about how long you and God are together or are in conversation.
Remember, quality, not quantity.
You want to feel His presence and feel like you two are actually being together. The “with,” “us” is what matters. Not the minutes.
Surrender any pressure or guilt of feeling like you need to pray for 10 minutes or read the Bible for 30 minutes or go on a 45-minute walk in nature with God.
You can meet God, in an instant. It’s not about the time.
It’s about being together, even for a moment.
Psalm 139: 7-10
“Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.”
God is with you. Focus on BEING WITH Him, not on the clock.
Let Go Of What You Think It Should Look Like and of What Other People Tell You It Should Look Like
The way you connect with your best friend, parents, partner, or favorite person is unique. There has never been another combination of you and them. So the way you two laugh, comfort each other, learn, challenge one another, and hang out is going to reflect your personalities and the particularities of you two as a pair.
Same goes for you and God.
You are how you are, like the things you like, and communicate the way you do in a way that’s completely distinctive to you.
When you and God are together, you two have a special relationship, unlike anyone else’s.
Find your way of being with Him.
If you're moved by Scripture, take time to write a few verses on notecards.
Pick verses that actually mean something to you or that fill you up or connect you two.
And as you read the verses, remember it’s you and God, as a pair. Talk to him as you read the verses, ask Him questions about them, pause as you read them and put your hand on your heart so you can feel close to Him. You're not solo here. This is a meeting with God. As in…together. You two are building your relationship.
If you feel close to God when you hear certain songs then go ahead and download them or put them on a playlist so they’re easy to get to. Turn them on and go to town! And think… “How can I connect with God as I'm singing?” Look for the “us” and the “with” between you and God.
What do I do?
I feel close to God when I'm in His presence and I invite the Holy Spirit into my space (I'll write some stuff about His presence and what it’s like soon).
For me, when I need a God connection, I’ll rest my hand on my leg, flip my palm up to the sky, and say, “Hey God.”
I’m quiet and I imagine I’m actually holding hands with God.
Sometimes it's ten seconds, sometimes a few minutes.
But I always feel a bond…like we're together in this, we're a pair.
Nobody ever taught me to do this and I don’t know anyone else who does this. I just felt like doing it one day and it felt very powerful for me. It fits my personality, it reflects our relationship, and it brings us closer.
What’s your way? Find it and do it.
Make The Most Of It
The other day my little babes, Mada and Beckett, got to see their friends, Winn and Levi.
With her sleeping newborn in tow, my friend Kelli stopped in our driveway to pick up something during her carpool run. My crew excitedly waited for them to arrive so we could tiptoe to the car and hand off the goods without waking baby Ford.
This was a three minute visit.
And a lesson in making the most of an opportunity.
Kelli and I did a fast, yet thoughtful check in. But the kids are the example I want you to learn from and follow.
They frickin’ went for it!
Here's what went down:
Mada and Beckett ran to the car so fast I thought they might trip. They were waving, smiling, shrieking and enthusiastically saying the names of their buddies: “Winn, Winn! Levi! Hey hey hey! Hey Winn! Hey Levi! Oh my gosh, it’s them! They're here! They're here! You’re here!
Their friends replied with “Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey Mada! Hey Beckett!”
Right off the bat, they were expectant. They were available and receptive. They were happy to be with their friends. They were totally present.
The window rolled down, Mada and my Bear both tried climbing on the edge of the car to look in and touch hands with their friends. Winn and Levi encouraged them and told them where to stand on the ledge to get higher and closer to them. All kids reached their hands out and got to hold hands for a second (They were all reaching out to be as close as possible even though there was a physical barrier).
The conversation was rapid-fire, filled with honesty, curiosity, sharing, gratitude, and joy.
“I like your dress, it's so cool."
“Did you have ballet today? Was it good?”
“Stand back and do a twirl like this”
“Watch this!”
Beckett, being pint-sized compared to the car, looked at me and said “Hold you!” His coded command for me to lift him up so he can be a part of the action and join in the conversation. Up he went, and immediately told them he’ll be a robot for Halloween.
”Wow!”
“I’m gonna be Wonder Woman!”
“I’m gonna be a Monarch butterfly”
“Wow! So cool!”
(So much dialogue and sharing!)
When it was time to wrap up our quickie catch-up, Madeleine offered to perform her latest skill:
“Watch this!”
Mada ran down the walkway, threw her arms out sideways, and victoriously leaped over the crack in the sidewalk.
Our friends all clapped with genuine appreciation, “Wow! Great job! Wow Mada, so good!”
We all waved enthusiastically as they drove away!
The end.
Take this lesson from these precious children:
When you're with God, be with Him.
Be totally in the present.
Do your in-the-moment ballet twirl.
Speak simply.
Reach out.
Make the most of your time, however long it is.
Be eager to be with your friend.
Run down the driveway, hang on the side of the car door, and meet Him with your whole self. Go all in.
“God! You're here! You're here!”
Let’s Wrap it UP
When you feel distant from God, remember to spend some meaningful time together.
Quality. Not quantity.
Do what actually works for you, not what you think you should do or what you've been told you should do.
Make the most of your time together.
True, these little deposits aren't the all-in-all of your relationship.
But they build familiarity and intimacy.
And that’s what we need to have a deeply connected relationship with the Lord...especially when life is busy.
Bring this to life iN you:
Scripture: “Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.” Psalm 139:7-10
Prayer:
“God, I want to feel close to you even when I'm busy. Show me how we can easily connect and nurture our relationship. Amen.”
Action step:
Take five minutes right now and brainstorm at least one way to have quality time with God that appeals to you when life gets busy.
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