How Can Taking Care Of Yourself Help You Live A Joyful Life?
As I said in the previous post,
Self-care is the broccoli of joy.
It’s the nutritious part of the meal you need to eat to help your body function properly.
As I tell my daughter, Madeleine, who is five (that’s “Mad-uh-line”, not “lyn”),
“You have to eat the vegetables and fruit first. Your body needs the good stuff so you can grow to be strong and healthy.
And it makes you nice.”
You can’t have a solid foundation for having joy in your life if you’re coming from a place of basic-needs-deficiency.
When you’re drained, you can’t fully enjoy yourself or give your best to others, at least not for any extended time.
If you’re living and giving from a place of depletion, you can’t be the fullest version of yourself.
Secondly, you cannot give with a full heart. Which leads to
Resentment.
Ouch.
As my fellow 2s on the Enneagram may know, it’s a joy to give… until it isn’t.
After you pour yourself out and share beyond your physical or emotional means, there comes a point when you inevitably say, “I need to feel appreciated.”
So let’s take this approach to self- care. You must meet your basic nurture-needs first so you can be strong and healthy.
And it makes you nice.
The components of self-care are:
Nourish Your Body
Nurture Your Soul
Enrich Your Mind
Care For Your Vulnerabilities
Embrace Simple Pleasures
Nourish Your Body
Put good stuff in your body
Take vitamins, eat fruits and veggies, crowd out the junk with nourishing foods. Drink enough water, at least 80 ounces- and make sure this is done well before bedtime or you’ll have a tee-tee party at 2am.
Rest well
Oh, dare to dream! This one is way easier said than done. But there are some things you can do to help get into a good sleep space. An evening ritual is just the thing to help you out here. Aim to go to bed about the same time every night. That’s right, a night-night curfew.
Do one or two things you find relaxing, like follow your skincare routine, read a book, meditate.
Turn off your electronics, save your stimulating activities (screens, exercise, etc.) for at least an hour before bed, change your sheets and pillowcases frequently (your complexion will thank you also), bring the temperature down so the room is cool, and find a ritual for letting go of your thoughts and burdens of the day.
Time to snooze! Off you go to the Land Of Nod.
Exercise
The best exercise is the one you enjoy and will actually do. When you exercise, try to find something that helps you feel strong and flexible. Intense workouts are in no way a must, in my opinion. Do them if you find them helpful, find something else if not.
Mindful movement that takes you closer to feeling well and capable is what you’re looking for.
I think there’s a huge benefit to gentle movement and just staying active throughout the whole day.
Remember, you are always trying to fill your tank, not deplete it. Let that guide you.
Enrich Your Mind
Warren Buffet says “I just sit in my office and read all day.” I probably would too if I had a gazillion dollars.
But his point is,
activate your mind.
When we’re young and in school, we’re legally forced to get smarter. Every day is an intellectual pursuit, like it or not.
Graduation comes, and we’re out in the world, doing our regular life, and don’t remember our times tables.
Do you know what 7×6 is?
That’s right!
47
The downside of being out of school is that your mind isn’t stretched and enriched in the same way as when you’re in a daily eight hour learning sprint.
The upside is that you’re able to pick whatever you want to learn, however you want to learn it. You can be a whole lot smarter in the thing that you actually care about being a whole lot smarter about.
So, read often, discuss interesting topics, challenge your own ideas, and learn as much as you can.
Make learning a hobby.
Nurture Your Soul
We are more than our body. There’s a big beautiful soul beneath it all leading this life experience. Sometimes we can feel disconnected from our spirit and just focus on the superficial, immediate or materialistic things.
How often do we move from one thing to another and just look forward to the next thing?
Do things that satisfy you on a deep level. Spend time in nature, have conversations with God, visit nostalgic places, read inspiring quotes. What things genuinely help you connect with the true you?
Do more of those.
Care For Your Vulnerabilities
We’ve all got ‘em. Taking care of your mental and emotional health is an ongoing thing. Sometimes they both need a lot of attention, sometimes not. But it’s something to always, at minimum, check-in on regularly.
Stress and anxiety are so common, we often accept them as our baseline.
And when your starting point is “stressed out,” adding any extra pressure on top of that can push you over the edge and even lead to the so very dreaded… panic attacks.
Ideally, you’re not waiting until you feel out of sorts to care for your vulnerabilities. Rather, you have an ongoing prevention or maintenance routine. This can be as simple as an evening breathing meditation or saying things you’re grateful for in the morning or during the day.
Another bit to check in on is your emotional life.
All feelings are normal and they will all show up at different times and for different durations, sometimes making sense, sometimes not.
But if you become reactive, easily offended, quickly angered, are sad and can’t seem to get out of it, you gotta tend to it.
Do it your way. See a counselor, journal, do whatever helps you feel your best and makes you feel like you’re in charge of yourself.
Altogether, know where you’re sensitive, keep an eye on it, and do what you need to do to be kind to yourself.
Embrace Simple Pleasures
Oh boy, this is my favorite! Doing stuff just because you want to do it. Here, you can let your indulgent side come out and play.
Think, pampering, bubble baths, going to the movies, traveling, enjoying your hobbies, treating yourself to a special gift or a fancy pants bottle of champagne or dessert. What brings out your unadorned delights?
Another simple pleasure I’ll add here, is time well-spent with friends.
True friendship is one of life’s great simple pleasures. A soul-tie friend is irreplaceable. When you can be open and show your true self, share unconditional love, and forgive each other easily, you’ve got something priceless.
Less serious, yet equally important, is the utterly sophomoric friendship.
This is the friend or group of friends that are mostly for recreation and laughs. This gang is lighthearted and helps you to remember to have fun just for fun’s sake. How great to be with someone who makes you laugh and brings out your most irreverent, loose, and silly self.
To appreciate play and laughter and just a plain ole good time, is invaluable.
It’s important to tend to both styles of friendship.
Well, there you have it. The blueprint to your self-care foundation.
When you’re taken care of and you’re living from a point of contentment and fullness, you’re way better able to receive joy and blessings and give freely to others.
As humans, we’ve have to recognize that we are ALL in need of consistent nourishment and attention. Every single one of us.
A couple of ways I can help you:
I have a free resource for you.
30 Second Self-Care
This is a guide where you can come up with self-care ideas that actually fill you up, depending on how much time you have. Click here to snag it:
https://makeitjoy.com/resources
And, self-care is a foundation of joy, so you bet I offer coaching for this.
Check it out:
https://makeitjoy.com/work-with-me
or contact me at
