When was the last time you set aside a whole day for your mental health and own needs?

Last Saturday, a small and sweet group from the Make It Joy community had their very own cozy night in.

This, of course, was inspired by the “Cozy Night In Virtual Retreat” I created for them. https://makeitjoy.myflodesk.com/cozynightin

The idea for the event was for each woman to set aside a minimum of three uninterrupted hours to have a date with themselves and designate their free time to rest and relax.

(I’m often inspired by what I desperately need!)

I was inspired to create this evening of self-focus and rest because…they need it, it’s an important thing.

And I’m so glad I did because it’s crucial to be with you and have a good time with you. (Read about why self-care even matters for you and your sense of peace).

One of the best ways you can be kind to yourself and bring your most joyful, peaceful self is to take some time for yourself.

A different way to say this is: for the sake of everyone you hold dear, get some alone time!

Before the virtual get-together, I supported them with accountability and encouraging messages to help them prepare for their “Me Time.” Plus, I made suggestions for simple ways they could make the most of their time and provided digital resources. This included a beautiful drink and nibbles menu, self-care roulette cards, a curated “Cozy Night In” song playlist for the night, a suggested schedule, a gentle yoga video with a star cameo from my cat “Indy,” and you know it, a handful of journal prompt pages.

Leading up to the event, I was sure to send them instructions and support to ensure they had a single day that felt like they were caring for themselves.

I gave the lead-up to the event so much attention because I know how important it is to designate time to care for ourselves. I, along with every other sleep-deprived adult, also know how difficult it can be to self-care.

I’m so aware, that I did a whole series about this on the blog, podcast, and even created an eBook on it! So, yes, I’ve learned if you’re not incredibly intentional with your time, it can easily get lost amongst our daily activities and Youtube videos of cats sleeping in sock drawers.

I wondered a few times if my maternal, nurturing, Enneagram 2 (“helper”) characteristics had run amok, but I was anchored by this truth:

Women struggle to take time for themselves

Women struggle to care for themselves first and give themselves what they need and want

Women need to take time for themselves

Women need to care for themselves first and give themselves what they need and want

Let’s embed this in our minds, hearts, and schedules: a core component of self-love is taking time to care for yourself.

Well, the event went splendidly. We had insightful conversations and a time of reflection that led to some important aha’s for those who joined in.

And I loved getting to know some of the women I was new to. Further confirmation, that the people in my community are frickin’ awesome.

Once the event and follow-up were complete, I was, not surprisingly at all, very tired. I set out to Ruffner Mountain to enjoy my new hiking hobby and equally new Merrell’s the day after. But it wasn’t quite enough. I still needed to take a little while longer to refill.

Sometimes a day off isn’t enough. When that happens… notice it, accept it, and give yourself more of what you need. Keep giving until you’re back to neutral at a minimum.

Retreats are indeed a part of Make It Joy

Creating restorative getaways where women can laugh, sleep, find clarity, and eat cheeseballs with wine was, after all, the vision that sparked the genesis of my business.

Over the years, I’ve gifted myself with respites, retreats, and sabbaticals and I know what makes for a rewarding escape.

So, I want to share some ways you can have a guilt-free, self-love day.

After all, if you’re not taking time for yourself, you can’t be the best version of yourself. Self-care is an essential foundation for joy, I’ve declared it, after all.

Not to mention how much good it’ll do you to bank up on positive emotions and peace ahead of the holiday rush and new year.

To make the most of your own retreat, I offer these tips:

Set aside free, uninterrupted You Time

Plan your activities beforehand

Create an atmosphere you enjoy

Prepare your mind

Set aside free, uninterrupted You Time

Your first step is to do whatever you need to do to reserve undisturbed time for yourself. There’s usually not a perfect time to take time off- so you have to just make it happen.

Decide how long you want to give yourself. I suggest at least three hours. You could also do the whole day, take the full weekend, or whatever you can manage.

Set your timeline and make all of the arrangements needed to be sure you have the time to use as you’d like, without any responsibilities or interruptions.

Coordinate with anyone you’ll need to make this happen- babysitter, boss, partner, your needy dog, etc.

Mark the date and time on your calendar.

If you’re able, go ahead and set your phone to do not disturb and schedule a social media blackout during your designated time.

This is your

“Me Time”

So you gotta protect it.

Once you’ve scheduled your time, invite a sense of excitement to build as you anticipate quality time with you.

Plan your activities ahead of time

When gifting yourself a retreat or “mental health day,” I find the best thing to do is to divide your time into these three categories:

Work

Refuel

Rest

It’s a great way to add structure and flexibility.

A possible itinerary might look like starting your time by journaling, researching, praying and focusing on anything that needs attention mentally, emotionally, or spiritually.

Once you work through what you need to, look to fill yourself up and restore. This is the time to pamper and do foo-foo skin treatments, read, watch a show, or eat a chocolate torte.

Once you’ve worked and refueled, bring everything to a peaceful and quiet close. Here’s where you meditate, focus on breathwork, and get good rest.

Think ahead to your “Me Time” and ask yourself what will truly satisfy you and help you feel rested and peaceful.

Little things make a difference. Some ideas to spark your imagination:

A massage

A pedicure

Do a face mask

Cue up your favorite song or movie

Start or finish a book for pleasure

Do some light exercise

Spend time with God

Journal

Read or speak positive affirmations

Prepare or buy your favorite food

Do a present moment or self-love meditation

Write a gratitude list

Get a new pair of swank pajamas

Buy or reserve anything you need to bring your vision to life.

What we don’t want, is you fussing about and worrying about how to relax and spend your alone time, during your alone time. That’s a stress.

So go ahead and make any appointments, buy any cute loungewear or fluffy socks you want, download your book, and be ready to roll.

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As you plan your night, remember to keep in mind how you’d like to feel.

You want to find a balance between having activities planned and feeling a luxurious, relaxed pace.

This isn’t about what you SHOULD do.

It’s about what you WANT to do.

It’s YOUR time.

And I want you to enjoy the heck out of it!

Create the atmosphere

If you want a cozy, relaxing, or beautiful experience, you need a cozy, relaxing, or beautiful space.

Make this feel like a special occasion. Oh, how fun!

Decide where you’re going to spend your “Me Time,” and make the space special and comfortable.

That means…

Tidy the space

Clear clutter

Clean whatever needs to be cleaned (comfy blankets with dog fur get a good washin’)

Bring out your favorite atmospheric creators– candles, your grandmother’s afghan, essential oil diffuser, twinkly string lights

Two things I’m sure to always have are a candle (this is one of my favorites) and a silky pillowcase.

(*I love that candle and buy it any time I luck out and see it at Homegoods, a rarity. It’s so fragrant and feels therapeutic. But, you gotta get the big version. The mini doesn’t give off as much fragrance).

A few questions that can help guide you as you prep your atmosphere:

What do you want your space to look like?

What do you NOT want your space to look like?

How do you want your space to feel?

Let’s include YOU in the atmosphere.

How do you want to feel about yourself?

What makes you feel comfortable, elevated, and beautiful?

This could mean:

Take a shower and wash your hair with plenty of time to spare, wear your favorite or new pj’s, snuggle up in a fluffy sweater, paint your toes, whatever makes you feel cozy and clearheaded.

You want to feel comfortable and happy in your skin and clothes.

This can be a lot of fun if you let yourself play.

Prepare your mind

My last word for you is this: it’s all about you.

Taking care of you

Resting you

Refreshing you

Giving you direction or clarity

YOU are the complete and total focus of your self-care time.

And that’s a good thing.

I know, I know, you may have a hard time putting yourself first.

I know you’re a good-hearted, do-gooder, loving woman and you put other people ahead of yourself. So, I’m encouraging you to get comfortable and embrace that this time is Your Time.

If this is a mental hurdle for you, say to yourself

“For today, I’m going to focus on myself and what I need and want.”

That can help you find a bit of mental freedom.

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​Once you’ve done all of these things to prepare, all that’s left is to SOAK IT UP!

When was the last time you set aside a whole day for your mental health and own needs?

Go ahead now and schedule your next day to love and care for yourself. Enjoy!

**You can learn more about the inception and plans for retreats in this episode and read about the last in-person retreat here.

How often and how grand the retreats will be will continue to unfold as the Lord leads and as my energy allows. Please email me if this is something you’re interested in. Your input is most certainly a big factor when I’m considering what the next one will look like.